hey babes, so this feels shitty but i’m now at a place where i’m forced to ask for help. those of you who’ve known me know i always somehow manage to make ends meet, and i’ve never asked for help before, but now... i need to. please feel free to share, and please only help if it’s not going to hurt you to do so.
tl;dr we lost half our income abruptly, through no fault, in feb. we’ve scrambled to find additional work but nothing yet. we’re fully broke, and all our utilities are overdue. i can’t afford groceries. i can’t afford meds. my credit cards are all overdrawn. my mental health is trashed. i’m panicking.
hi, i’m ari. i’m a queer gal who moved to london in 2013 to be with my wife. i work in medical admin and i write fanfic, rp, and cook allergy-friendly food to de-stress. i grew up in a country that was under martial law, moved countries 4 times in my short life, and have worked full-time since i was 14 years old. i’ve never had stability, and now for the first time i can’t even afford the bills.
why are you broke? i have a full-time job that just stretches to cover our rent, b’’h, but our utilities + groceries came out of my wife’s income. she abruptly lost her income three months ago, without warning, and has been frantically sending out job applications, and has interviews lined up, but this hasn’t translated into any job offers or actual money yet. she was supposed to be in her last year of law school (because she’s amazing!) but no money = no final semester. this means we’ll somehow also need to fund an additional year next year. a law job would mean we would have stability for the first time in our shitty, abused lives, and it’s getting further away, and we’re both emotionally destroyed.
where did your savings go? on law school payments and on end-of-life care for our gorgeous cat, whom we lost last june. and on the big move i made in 2013 to move to the UK from the US to be with my wife, whom i’ve been with and loved half my lifespan so far. i moved to the UK (rather than moving her to the US) because school is much cheaper, the NHS = free medical care, and at the time DOMA hadn’t yet been repealed.
can’t you give up some luxuries? we can’t afford to move. we don’t eat out. we went to one movie in the past three years, and felt guilty about it. we don’t drink, or smoke, or go out to clubs, social events, or anything that costs money. the only outgoings we have are: rent; water, electric, basic internet; medicine (antidepressants, ADHD meds, dressings for my skin); and supplements (which i need to take because of my genetic condition); groceries (i cook everything from scratch due to multiple food allergies between us, and i always buy the absolute cheapest ingredients). our phone plans are pay-as-you go (and currently out of credit). there’s nothing left to give up.
can’t your families help? our families are the sorts of abusive, horrifying individuals who should have had their children taken away from them. DM me if you want details, but suffice it to say: they should be prosecuted. and yes, even so, we’ve asked. and no, they won’t help.
why can’t you just work 5 jobs like everyone else? i regularly work 70hr weeks. if i take any additional income, i’ll lose my disability travel pass. my wife is a full-time law student and was also working full-time on top of this. as soon as she’s offered a job, she’s going to take it.
what did you say about your mental health? i have depression, ptsd, anxiety, ADD, executive dysfunction, and i’m a severe introvert working in an extremely extroverted workplace. my wife has complex severe ptsd, anxiety, depression, executive dysfunction, ADHD, and dyslexia.
you mentioned a disability? i have epidermolysis bullosa, a genetic (i was born with it) disorder that means my skin doesn’t work. it’s associated with constant fatigue, brain fog, anemia, and increased infections (luckily, i don’t get those). in the summer, i can’t walk half a block without literally bleeding. it’s not fun. but it’s also not something the NHS (national health service) here in the UK considers ‘bad enough’ for disability benefits. all i get (which is! a lot more than nothing!!) is a free travel card, so i can take the bus & tube for free. that’s how i can get to work. my wife has hyperextensive ligaments and a severely slipped disk in her spine.
what if i want you to do something for me? i’m very happy to talk fanfic or creative writing commissions; i run a recipe insta and i’m very happy to teach you how to cook; and i do excellent, thorough tarot readings. i’m totally happy to talk prices on any of these things.
